If you could be held—truly held—in the messy, transformational moments of your life without being told there's something to "fix" about yourself, might you finally be able to exhale, drop your shoulders, and welcome that sweet, sweet relief?
Trying to "fix" yourself through life's greatest changes is costing you more than money—it's costing you the transformation these thresholds promise.
Every time you sign up for another e-course promising to make your discomfort go away, buy another book to solve your "problem," or schedule another session with someone who wants to scrub your messy life clean, you're writing off your wisdom as insufficient. You're fragmenting your experience into neat little boxes to be addressed separately, wasting precious energy on "fixing" what was never broken.
Sure, keeping up with your therapy appointments, journaling rituals, and $28 pilates classes feels like you're doing something. (That adds up!)
But it's entirely possible to navigate life's thresholds—whether that's divorce, a career shift, Saturn return, or the loss of a relationship—without throwing countless hours and dollars at "solutions" that only make you feel more fragmented. In fact, being held in the mess of these transitions will not only reconnect you to your power, it will transform these moments into your most creative, authentic, and transformational experiences yet. But before we get there...
You're so tired of trying to be the expert in fixing yourself.
The email from yet another coach promising to "unleash your best self" sits in your inbox, unopened. Your nightstand is stacked high with self-help books, each one dog-eared and highlighted, but somehow none quite hitting the mark. Your credit card statement shows a string of charges—the weekend retreat, the online course, the therapy sessions—all promising to help you navigate this threshold you're facing.
But here you are again. Your mind swirling with half-implemented strategies and conflicting advice. You've tried meditating (but your mind won't quiet). You've tried journaling (but the words feel empty). You've tried talking it through (but no one seems to fully understand).
The problem isn't that you haven't tried hard enough. The problem is that you've been sold the idea that this threshold—this messy, uncomfortable transformation—is something to "get through" or "fix" rather than something to be held through.
You’re exhausted from the weight of trying to piece together your own support system, from the constant vigilance of monitoring your progress, from the shame of not having "figured it out" yet. The mounting pressure of needing to emerge from this transition with a TED Talk-worthy story of triumph makes you want to bury your head under the pillow and give up entirely.
And deep down, there's this nagging feeling that despite all the tools and techniques you've gathered, something essential is missing. Something that acknowledges this isn't just a problem to solve, but a portal to cross.
YOU DESERVE TO BE HELD, NOT FIXED.
"I need to fix myself to get through this difficult time."
Yes, we've all been conditioned to believe that uncomfortable feelings signal something is wrong and needs fixing. The entire Self Help Industrial Complex thrives on convincing you that discomfort is a problem rather than a messenger. And yet, discomfort during times of transition is not only normal—it's necessary.
Your discomfort isn't a bug in the system; it's a feature of transformation. Just as a caterpillar must dissolve completely before becoming a butterfly, you too must experience the dissolution of what was before you can emerge as what will be.
"If I just try hard enough and use the right tools, I can make this transition painless."
It's completely understandable to want to avoid pain—our entire culture is built around this desire. We've been sold the idea that with the right strategy, the right mindset, the right supplement, we can bypass the messy middle of transformation.
But transformation, by its very nature, requires dissolution. It requires letting go of what was to make space for what will be. And that process isn't meant to be painless—it's meant to be meaningful. The challenge isn't to avoid the mess, but to be held through it so that you can extract the wisdom it contains.
"Everyone else seems to navigate life changes with grace and ease. What's wrong with me?"
In our highlight-reel culture, it's easy to believe that everyone else is moving through life's transitions with Instagram-worthy grace, while you're floundering in the messy middle. The truth? Everyone experiences the chaos of transformation. The difference is in how that chaos is held.
Those who appear to navigate change effortlessly aren't avoiding the mess—they're being supported through it. They're allowing themselves to be held in community, in ritual, in practices that honor rather than shortcut the process of becoming.
"I should be able to handle this on my own."
Independence is prized in our culture above almost everything else. We're taught that strength means going it alone, figuring it out for ourselves, pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. This toxic individualism has left us isolated in our most vulnerable moments.
Across cultures and throughout history, humans have always navigated major life transitions in community. Birth, death, coming of age, marriage, separation—all were witnessed and supported by those who'd walked the path before. Your need for support isn't weakness; it's deeply human.
Life's Thresholds: When Traditional Support Just Isn't Enough
But transformation isn't about going back—it's about moving through. You will never be the same person you were before this threshold, and that's not a tragedy—it's an opportunity. The question isn't "how do I get back to who I was?" but "who am I becoming through this?"
Why I created connection doula support
I became a birth and death doula because my grandmother was placed in a boarding school with the logo "kill the Indian, save the man" and stayed on to teach at that school, ensuring that all Indigenous children there had the chance to learn from a proud Indigenous woman how to be a proud Indigenous student.
She taught me the deep importance of Indigenous wisdom in transformational processes and called me into doula work. Once I started working with doula clients, I began to see everything through a lens of birthwork and realized that all of life's thresholds—whether physical or spiritual—are moments of life's greatest calling for creativity, connection, and self-knowledge.
Through my work, I've witnessed countless people transform their relationship to life's messiest moments—not by avoiding them or "fixing" them, but by being held through them with compassion, wisdom, and the understanding that every threshold contains the seeds of our becoming.
Quick Q for those who've spent thousands on self-help books, retreats, and coaches, but still feel like something's missing:
As someone who's already shown intense commitment to knowing yourself—even if that journey has been misguided and outsourced until now—you deserve to stop throwing money and time into the endless, insatiable pit of "fixing" yourself. You deserve to cross life's thresholds with support that sees the mess not as something to clean up, but as the fertile ground from which your transformation will grow.
Imagine sitting with someone who doesn't try to banish your uncertainty, but holds space for it. Who doesn't offer you a 5-step plan to happiness, but offers you presence as you navigate your own path. Who doesn't see you as broken, but as standing at a powerful threshold of transformation. Picture yourself exhaling fully for the first time in months, maybe years. Letting your shoulders drop from around your ears as you realize you don't have to figure this all out alone. That the messy middle is exactly where the magic happens.
You want to move through this transition not by clenching every muscle in your body, but by flowing with curiosity and interconnectedness. Not by frantically searching for answers outside yourself, but by trusting the wisdom that's already within you.Your power isn't in fixing yourself. Your power is in allowing yourself to be transformed by life's greatest challenges.
The five things you've gotta understand if you want to truly cross life's thresholds with power & grace:
"If I can just get back to how things were before this transition, I'll be fine."
When you stop trying to clean up, organize, and sanitize life's greatest transitions and instead allow yourself to be held in their transformative power, you'll finally:
- Exhale fully, possibly for the first time in months or years, as the pressure to "figure it all out" dissolves in the safety of being held.
- Reconnect with your own inner wisdom that knows exactly what you need during this time, rather than outsourcing your power to experts and gurus.
- Transform your relationship with uncertainty from one of fear and resistance to one of curiosity and potential.
- Discover that the very thing you've been trying to "fix" or "get through" is actually your portal to a more authentic and aligned life.
- Stop wasting money on books, courses, and retreats that fragment your experience and start investing in holistic support that sees you as whole even in your messiness.
- Learn to trust that you are the expert in your own experience, while still allowing yourself to be supported in navigating it.
- Reclaim the ancient wisdom that transitions aren't problems to be solved but thresholds to be crossed with intention and community.
- Free yourself from the exhausting cycle of trying and failing to implement strategies that were never designed for your unique needs and circumstances.
- Experience the profound relief that comes from being witnessed in your mess without judgment or the pressure to clean it up.
- Discover that the messy middle is actually where all the magic, creativity, and transformation lives.
Indigenous wisdom teachings about threshold crossing that honor rather than sanitize the process
Weekly one-on-one sessions where you'll be truly held in whatever you're navigating
A relationship built on the understanding that YOU are the expert in your own experience
Support in identifying and trusting the tools that keep you grounded, honest, and in touch with the transformational power of your current threshold
Connection Doula Support is month-to-month doula care for people at any threshold of life, reconnecting you to yourself, your tools, and the deep, transformational power of being supported through the "mess" without the pressure of the Self Help Industrial Complex telling you there's something wrong with you.
Each month includes:
Who connection doula support is for
- You've spent thousands of dollars on books, courses, sessions, and coaches in the name of "fixing" yourself, all while deep down knowing nothing about you needs to be fixed.
- You've already done all of the work to arrive at a place where you are tired of the work and ready to meet life as it is and be held through it.
- You're navigating a major life transition—divorce, career change, loss, identity shift, relationship reconfiguration—and sense that traditional support systems aren't quite addressing the depth of your experience.
- You feel fragmented by trying to address different aspects of your transition in different spaces—therapy for the emotions, career coaching for the work shifts, financial planning for the money concerns—and crave an integrated approach.
- You're tired of being told to "get over it" or "move on" when what you really need is to move through it with intention and support.
- You sense that this threshold contains powerful lessons and opportunities for growth, if only you had the support to extract them.
- You're ready to stop seeing your discomfort as something to fix and start seeing it as a portal to transformation.
Who Connection Doula Support Is NOT For:
- Those who are still committed to the idea that there's something fundamentally wrong with them that needs fixing.
- People looking for a quick fix or a magic solution that will allow them to bypass the messy middle of transformation.
- Those who aren't ready to question the Self Help Industrial Complex and the ways it may have disconnected them from their own wisdom.
- Anyone seeking a prescriptive, one-size-fits-all approach to navigating life's transitions.
Those who are satisfied with fragmenting their experience into neat little boxes rather than addressing it holistically.
all the smartest people ask great questions:
What exactly happens during a Connection Doula session?
Each session is uniquely tailored to your needs in that moment. Some sessions might involve deep listening and witnessing as you process your experience. Others might include guidance in identifying practices that help you stay grounded through change. We might explore Indigenous wisdom teachings about threshold crossing, or develop rituals to honor your transition. The constant thread is that you are held—not fixed—through whatever emerges.
How is this different from therapy?
While therapy is a valuable resource, Connection Doula Support differs in several key ways. Traditional therapy often focuses on identifying and resolving problems or pathologies. As your doula, I see you as navigating a natural threshold that requires support. I draw on Indigenous wisdom and doula practices rather than clinical frameworks, and I focus on holding you through the entire transition rather than addressing specific symptoms or issues. Many clients find that doula support complements their therapy beautifully.
I've tried so many things already—how do I know this will be different?
That's a valid question. What makes Connection Doula Support different is that we don't start with the assumption that you need to be fixed. Instead, we honor your experience exactly as it is and focus on holding you through it rather than trying to make it go away. If you've felt fragmented or misunderstood by other approaches, this holistic, witnessing presence might be exactly what you've been missing.
Do I need to identify as Indigenous to benefit from this work?
Absolutely not. While I draw on my Indigenous heritage and wisdom traditions, the core understanding that transitions are thresholds to be crossed rather than problems to be fixed is universal across cultures. The practices and approaches are accessible to anyone navigating life's messy transitions.
How long will I need Connection Doula Support?
This varies widely depending on the nature of your transition and your individual needs. Some clients work with me for a few months during an acute transition, while others choose ongoing support through various life thresholds. Because the work is month-to-month, you can decide what feels right for you without pressure to commit to a lengthy program.
I'm not sure what transition I'm even in—I just know something's off. Is this still for me?
Absolutely. Often, we can sense we're at a threshold before we can name or define it. Part of our work together might be identifying the nature of the transition you're navigating. The feeling that "something's off" is often the first whisper of transformation calling.
I'm afraid to be vulnerable with someone I don't know. How does trust develop in this work?
This is such an important question. Trust builds gradually, and I never expect or require you to share more than feels comfortable. We begin by creating a container of safety through clear agreements, consistent presence, and my commitment to witness without judgment. Many clients find that simply being in a space where they don't have to pretend to have it all together allows trust to develop naturally.
How do I know if I'm ready for this work?
If you've resonated with what you've read here—if you've felt that exhale of recognition that maybe you don't need to be fixed but held—that's often the first sign of readiness. Readiness isn't about having everything figured out; it's about being willing to be met exactly where you are.
If you're ready to stop fixing what isn't broken and start being held through life's messiest, most transformative thresholds, Connection Doula Support is waiting for you.